It’s an impossible situation when the woman who gave birth to you and the woman to whom you solemnly vowed to spend the rest of your life have fallen out. Well, not fallen out exactly, but there’s an unacknowledged tension between them which it would probably be healthy to acknowledge. Mum’s the kind to keep smiling, be overly friendly and pretend that nothing’s changed since the affair. Carlie looks sour-faced and resorts to one-word answers. Each passive-aggressive response is infuriating in its own way. Though I probably don’t have the right to address this elephant.

The philanderer has no prerogative.